(am I gonna be a NEXT-BEAUTIFUL-WAITY-KATIE???hmm,...hahaha)
By Zoe Ruderman
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I have a confession to make: I look at wedding dresses online. A lot. I'm not in the market, but I just really enjoy virtually browsing through the gowns and imagining what I would look like in them. I'm guilty of doing the same with engagement rings, though only a handful of times. Again, not in the market. And I'd be lying if I said I've never put any thought into what song I want to use for my first dance. To anyone who doesn't know me well (or has looked over my shoulder while I'm at work browsing Gilt Bridal), I probably seem like the kind of girl who's dying to get married.
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But actually, if Kris, my boyfriend of nearly four years, proposed tomorrow, I'd say no. Not because I don't love him. I do. And not because I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with him. I can. And not because I'm morally opposed to marriage or anything. I'm not. I just happen to think 27, my current age, is too young to say I do. Which is why I love that the most famous bride of the year—and probably the century—was almost 30 when she walked down the aisle. Frankly, I've gotten sick of hearing everyone get all excited about celebs in their early twenties (Avril Lavigne, Kate Hudson, Heidi Montag, the list goes on...) tying the knot. And I always feel like a cynical, jealous b---- when I say things like, "Sheesh, what's the rush?" or "That's not gonna last" or "Heidi, what the hell did you do to your face?" Oh wait, that last one had nothing to do with getting married young.
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But watching Kate walk down the aisle, I wasn't grumbling about anything. I was giving her props. She was making it cool to get married at 29.
Let me be clear. I don't think 27 is too young for all people and that every single woman should hold off till 29. I have lots of friends who got hitched younger than that, couples I think were totally ready and will be together for a looong time (shout out to Jess and Corey!). And it's not like I go to weddings where the bride and groom are in their early or mid-twenties and scoff at their decision. It's just that I can't relate to their decision. But I can relate to Kate.
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Not to the whole becoming royalty thing (damn), but about waiting till 29 to say I do. Yes, I know they called her Waity Katie, but I think at least some part of Katie was making the choice to waity. She knew that exchanging vows before she and Wills were both ready would be a bad idea. And I bet there was a lot she still wanted to do before becoming Mrs. Windsor. And I'm with her—
I want to check off a few more things on my life to-do list before becoming a married woman. Travel, moving up in my career, adding a bit more to my savings account, finally learning how to cook a Thanksgiving meal.
And it's not just the single girl bucket list. I fully believe the studies that claim getting hitched in your early twenties ups your risk of divorce. As Cosmo explained in an article, "the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she’ll get divorced...and by 25, you’re more likely to have earned a degree or two". An expert goes on to say,
"Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards."
But I happen to think 29 is the new 25. So many of my friends have changed careers, gone back to school, moved cities, and done complete 180s when it comes to their life plans — and many of them have done it at the age of 25, 26, 27. But I've watched my older friends hit 28 and 29 and I've noticed that they just seem to have a better sense of what they want. Maybe it sounds unromantic, but as much as I trust my gut right now that Kris is the one for me, I'll feel a lot more comfortable letting him put a ring on it in another year or two when I know that not only are my instincts telling me to shout yes, but my rational brain is also in agreement.
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So, thanks Kate for putting off marriage until you're almost the big 3-0. If you could handle reporters and paparazzi and the Queen of England asking you every two minutes, "When are you two finally going to get married"?, I'm sure I can handle a few people asking me the same thing (and Kris's mom telling me, "You know, you're born with all of the eggs you'll ever have and you just lose more and more each year."). And thanks for reminding me (yes, even I sometimes doubt my desire to wait) that dating a guy for a long time and getting married at 29 (or perhaps later) is smart, sexy, and utterly appealing.
hik2...me n encik sopan...ngeeeeee~
